Declaration of Democrazy!

By EricSoul and Gateteviews:

We, a guy from Nyamirabo Suburb and a DJ from Kacyiru, respectively: Senior Expert on American Affaires, and Global Strategic Advisor at Ogopogo bar every Saturday night,

In light of ‘Violence reported in USA election primaries; as well as rumors of possible rigging in the choice of candidates’, urge the US to set an example in the region of the Americas, now that relations with democratic neighbor Cuba are improving. Meanwhile,  Cuban revolutionary President Mr. Raoul Castro expressed: ‘deep disappointment in such maneuvering’ by the Obama regime, ahead of the latter’s visit to La Havana to taste the legendary Cuban Rum and Cohibas.

Mr. Donald Tumbs, leader of the Opposition is experiencing overwhelming attacks and pressure from the regime, for advancing an alternative voice to the ruling’s – so called – Democrat Party. Mr. Stamps promised to contest the results in the American Supreme Court if the regime was to revert to its recurrent trend of rigging the ballot consolidation, which cost his counterpart Mr. All Gores the election in the advantage of Nobel Peace Price nominee Johnny Walker Bush and his progressive running mate Mr. Dick.

Should these rumors be substantiated, we call upon China to freeze its loans to the United States if the latter’s elections fall short of the standards held by the ‘People’s Party of China’

We urge the African Union to send a delegation of African Independent Observers in each of the US states to ensure that peaceful voting and due processes are observed throughout the divided country, during all election stages. Final US election results could be revoked and nullified by the International Community, led by Russia and Turkey, if rumors of irregularities are to be confirmed as well founded.

Mr. Trap’s message: ‘Lets build big fat walls, make others pay for them to make America great again’ – appears to be the most clever and popular suggestion in the entire electoral contest thus far and threatens to seduce most adult, well-thinking Americans.

Note. The guy from Nyamirambo Suburb has been following American politics closely since his dating an American girl in 2006. He plans to travel to the United States for the first time in the dry season this year.

Mr DJ’s extensive expertise on Global Affairs has been amassed while listening to Jazz records from all over the world. ‘My grasp of American way of life is spiritual. Through Music, one is able to grasp the Soul’ – Mr. DJSoul explained…